I’ve written a few posts about Facebook etiquette, mostly about application ettiquette, and I think there’s a point I missed that I wanted to touch on. I know I come down pretty hard on people whose news feed is made up almost entirely of apps, quizzes and games, but the reality is that for some people, it’s the reason they enjoy Facebook in the first place. Keeping that in mind, some people like to share that experience with friends. That’s fine too. I ONLY ask that you put a MOMENT of thought and pay attention to WHO you’re inviting.

You see, Facebook doesn’t just randomly invite 20 of your friends to “Hugs” or “SuperPoke.” YOU do that. Randomly. If you were having a game night at your house, would you just invite the first 20 people in your address book, or would you look through your options and pick the people who:

1. 1. Share your interest in game nights; and
2. 2. Are people you would enjoy playing with?

My guess is you don’t even get to question 2 if the answer to question 1 is no. Why should Facebook be any different? If you enjoy Farmville, don’t you want to invite and play with other people who will enjoy it as much as you? I get invited to apps all the time, and not once have I had the impression that I was being invited because they thought I would enjoy the app. To be fair, it’s not entirely the person’s fault, because apps will sometimes force you to participate in activities that spam people or send out invites just to reach goals or plateaus. Even so, you can ALWAYS skip certain questions or decline to notify people. Take that time.

If you’re on the other end, being invited, block the app like I showed you. I’ve blocked and even unfriended people who do nothing but invite me to apps. After all, what are either of us getting out of the relationship?

I’ve made the same mistakes, and now I actually think about what I share and who I invite to things, and when I mistakenly invite or post to someone’s wall I’m horrified. I only ask that you think before you act.

Agree? Disagree? Bueller?

One week ago I wandered out to UCLA for their 2nd annual Gravity Summit. I had scored a free pass due to my work with Social Media Club Los Angeles. Having never been to a Gravity Summit (they’re held at college campuses around the country from what I’ve been told) I really wasn’t sure what to expect. Those of you who followed my Twitter Stream that day know that I was basically live-blogging the conference to the best of my ability. Have become used to the unconference format of BarCamp it was difficult at times to sit in one room to listen to a series of lectures, but at the same the information was interesting and many of the speakers were very engaging.

I have to say, though, that the day belonged to Ramon DeLeon, a Domino’s franchise owner in Chicago who has integrated social media into his business in a way that I don’t think I’d seen before. He just plain got it, and his understanding of what made a BUSINESS work made it all successful. Like I said on Twitter, any guy who can sell franchised pizza in Chicago must be doing something right. Rather than listen to me talk about him, though, check out his keynote for yourself. This is particularly useful as an afternoon pick me up.

My experiences with Social Media conferences has largely centered around the unconference setting of the BarCamps. BlogWorld was a much more structured setting, but still had a loose feel to it. Today I’m attending my first Gravity Summit on the UCLA campus. It’ll definitely be a different experience for me, and one I’ll be live tweeting about over at my Hal Lublin twitter account (Dracu-Pig didn’t make the trip, in case anyone was looking/hoping for pics).

I’m looking forward to an informative and enriching experience. Hope you’ll join me.

OK, so yesterday I complained about a problem I have with spammy, hard-sell behavior on Facebook. I wound up receiving a few comments about people who also can’t stand Farmville, Yoville, MafiaWars, SuperPokes, Vampires, Zombies, Vampires v. Zombies, Mafia Zombies, SuperVampirePokers who live on Farms and so on. Since I’ve already discussed what the players of these games can do to keep from annoying others, I figured I would take a look at how we as non-players can address this issue.

Before I get started, let me say this for the record: I have nothing against games (stupid or smart) on Facebook; for a lot of people, it’s the main reason they keep coming back, and they get a lot of enjoyment out it them, and that’s just fine. This isn’t an indictment of Facebook gamers; it’s a message of empowerment to everyone else.

If you too are frustrated/annoyed/done with the constant news feed stories about games you have NO interest in hearing about, you can hide them. Here’s how:

1. Roll your pointer over the news item – you’ll see a “hide” button appear in the upper right hand corner:

2. Click the “hide” button and hide the application, not the user (unless you don’t want updates from that user, which begs the question “why are you friends with them in the first place?”):

3. Go about your life, secure in the knowledge that you’ve made your Facebook experience that much better.

Does this take some time? Yes. Is it worth the few seconds per app that it takes? Yes. For me, Facebook is a much less spammy experience now. I’ve only had to unfriend one person due to nothing but apps/games in their feed, and I don’t think it was a huge loss to either of us. If you like some aspects of Facebook enough to want to stick with it, tips like these give you a lot more control in crafting the experience you want.

What else would make your Facebook experience more enjoyable/productive?

…Don’t wipe your hands on my drapes.

That’s not what they’re for, you know? I use ‘em to keep the windows covered, or at the very least as decoration. If you’re like me, your home is your place, where you have your own rules. When you visit someone else’s house, you don’t conduct yourself the same way you would at home because it’s not your place. That’s the golden rule, right? Simple.

For whatever reason (maybe because it’s “not real”?), our online “homes” are no different. How many of you have left a promotional, self-serving post on someone else’s Facebook wall? It’s OK to raise your hand – none of us can see you. Now, how many of you have FOUND other people’s spam (that’s what it is – unwanted, unwarranted, unbelievable) on your wall? Sucks, doesn’t it? Hell, I get upset when I see a friend getting spammed, even if they don’t mind. I think it’s rude, if I’m not mistaken it’s a violation of Facebook’s Terms of Service (psst! It’s in there! Check the first item in the “Safety” section).

If you’re a smart business person, you know better than to storm into someone’s cocktail hour like a bull on speed and start shouting about your exciting new service. If it helps you, spammers, think of Facebook as a cocktail hour. Or a birthday party. Or a baby shower. Or a wedding. Or some other place where your well-honed “hard sale” is not only ineffective but offensive to some. Is it worth the few sales you might make to turn off 100 for every 1 you sell? If your answer is “yes” feel free to leave my blog (if the lack of a zillion ads didn’t drive you off in the first place). If it’s no, consider this alternative: Contact people privately if you think they might be interested in something you have to offer. If they say no, let it go. How about a Facebook BUSINESS page where you can PROMOTE your business openly?

Don’t get me wrong here: There’s no need to keep mum about your job or aspects of your work on the personal side of Facebook since they’re a real part of your life and can spark engagement with people. It simply means that your personal profile (and anyone else’s, for that matter) is not a billboard or a place for you to promote.

They have places for that. They’re called ACTUAL Billboards.

Am I off base here? Tell me what you think.

I woke up this morning with a post in mind, ready to be written, until I came across this post on ActiveRain. Before I get into it here, let me say that I am NOT going to comment on the politics here, which is the exact point I want to make. On a site that is meant to be a professional real estate network, this person has chosen to use the platform to air political grievances. For a state she doesn’t serve.

We talk a lot about transparency and being genuine, but often we don’t talk enough about what is sensible. I certainly have strong political views, but they have nothing to do with what I do for a living (most of the time). I know that there’s a time and place for me to discuss those things, and it’s not here. Yes, this person might be so skeeved by the idea of working with conservatives that she wants to make sure that they steer clear, but this feels more like a knee-jerk reaction to an article. If that’s the case, the solution is simple: Take a moment. Breathe. Think about the message you’re putting out there and where you’re putting it. I don’t use this blog to talk about how horrible Star Wars Episodes 1-3 are, or how much I love the Phillies – I have a personal blog for that, and even there I want to be responsible in what I speak about. The times when you’re angry are the times you need to exercise restraint the most. Think about how you’re representing yourself. Think about how you’re representing your business. Your community. Your family. Even yourself. It takes a lifetime to build a reputation and about 5 seconds to ruin it.

Recently, I’ve become a bit of a plugin ho. I love finding new tools that enhance the blogging experience for me and the reading/browsing experience for my readers. In the last few months I’ve been using a plugin called Apture that may be the best one I’ve found yet.

I like embedding things in blog post, like pictures, links and videos. What I don’t enjoy is the number of steps it takes to find pictures that I want. The internet is here to serve me and make my life easier, right? I don’t want to go to Flickr (my photo haven of choice), click search, click advanced search, click the license level I’m looking for, then begin the search, find the image, copy the address, then keep going back and forth to get the info I need. By using Apture I can browse through multiple picture sites and find the photos I want with the proper license level. Not only that, but when I embed a link, it creates a pop-up preview. Here’s the kicker, though – when you embed a YouTube video using Apture, you can “edit” it, choosing the in and out points for the video, in case you only want to show a short clip.

Apture's User Interface

Apture’s made blogging a much smoother process for me. Are you using it? If no, what plugins are you rocking right now?

One of the cool things about my new Droid phone is the ability to blog using the “wp on the go” application. In fact, I’m doing it right now…

The layout is pretty basic. I’ve got a very simple WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) editor, an area for tags and an area for categories. I can also add a picture, which I have. Not sure where in the post it will appear, though.

I like the idea that I can fire off a quick post whenever I want, but it feels more like a failsafe than a surefire solution.

Do you use a mobile blogging solution (besides Posterous)?

I went to an uber-liberal Quaker school for the majority of my formative years. Hippies reigned supreme, we didn’t have a football team, and competition was deemed “not in the spirit of Friends.” In my freshman year of Upper School (high school), I learned two things in gym class (before it went independent study, basically enabling my dislike of conventional exercise):

1. How to play badminton
2. How to juggle

Learning to juggle took patience. I had to re-learn how to throw and catch in a specific way before I was ready to add the second ball. Then I had to master that until I was ready for the third. The point is that if I had tried to juggle multiple balls right out of the gate, my progress would have been MUCH slower because I didn’t even know how to juggle ONE ball yet.

So many of the people I speak with are quick to become overwhelmed with being on just a handful of sites. No, this is not another post about not having to do everything. I’ve already talked about that here. Let’s assume, for the sake of this post, that you’ve already decided on a tool (or a small set of tools) that you feel fit your skill set and the goals you have for your business. People can still get overwhelmed by that, to a certain extent because they still feel like they’re missing something important. As a lifelong sufferer of shiny thing syndrome, I know how challenging this can be, but your evolution will occur organically. The first step is learning to use what you have.

Whatever tool you choose, commit to it, Create a plan. Learn the tool’s capabilities. Learn its weaknesses. Give yourself the time to really understand how it can benefit you. You may (or may not) reach a point at which you want to take your success on one platform and expand it to another, or add a new tool that extends the functionality of the first. Learn to juggle that ONE tool flawlessly and when the time comes to add a second tool, you’ll be ready to do it and the learning period will be even shorter.

Do you agree? What was your progression into social media?

When you start out, improvising is all about rules. Actually, a lot of it is about don’ts:

• Don’t deny
• Don’t ask questions
• Don’t go for the joke

Most people are so nervous starting out that you can actually see their brains working, trying to remember all the rules so that they can have a “successful scene.” Because of that, most of their scenes are not so successful, but hey, it’s a class, so it’s OK. (To be honest, all the side coaching from an instructor can sometimes make it worse, because you’re just waiting to be corrected. But that’s just my opinion – I’d rather get my notes after a scene, so we can go over it moment by moment.) As long as you follow the rules, you’re going to be successful, right? All of your scenes will be hilarious because you refrained from asking questions, said yes to everything, and never went for a joke! We’ve finally boiled comedy down to its mathematical essence! Sorry to say that this just isn’t so. I speak from experience. I’ve had terrible scenes where I followed the rules and transcendant scenes where I ignored them. Or did I?

The key to successful improvising lies not in the blind following of rules, but in the understanding of the purpose they serve. Don’t deny doesn’t mean “don’t ever say no”; it means that you should be open to any direction a scene takes, and go with premises rather than stopping them in their tracks so you can squeeze your ideas in.

You don’t have to avoid questions, but you need to understand that everything must add information, and questions tend to put the onus for information on the other party, so you might think about why you’re asking a question and purpose it serves to the overall scene. When you’re really in tune with the other players, questions cease just being questions, and instead become bridges, set-ups and even buttons to a scene.

Going for the joke is frowned upon in improv because it feels cheap and easy, and going for it right off the bat is definitely proof; improvisers earn their laughs from the unexpected twists and turns that come from nobody, not even the performers, knowing where the next moment is coming from. When someone tries to lead you down a path with their “schtick”, it’s boring and predictable. However, there are cases where you can earn the joke, making it a payoff to audience expectation rather than a predictable and hacky attempt to steal a laugh. The point is that the rule exist for a reason, and until you grasp the reason, you can neither truly abide by the rules or break them successfully.

Businesses using social media are given all sorts of guideposts, graphics and do’s & don’ts – we’ve even given a bunch of them here – but that doesn’t mean that your success or failure is dependent upon your following these “rules” to the letter. Instead, cultivating an ability to interpret and really understand why those steps are important can lead to bend, stretching or even breaking what are fast becoming the conventions of “social marketing” online. THAT’S how this medium will grow.

What do YOU think?